When I first met Charlie, he was raising two boys on his own, navigating single parenthood with a strength and patience that astounded me. I was told the divorce would be finalized in September. That was months ago. Now, as February approaches, nothing has changed. No movement. No resolution. Just an ongoing, exhausting cycle of waiting.
It feels unfair—deeply, painfully unfair.
I am frustrated for the boys, stuck in a system that does not prioritize their safety or well-being. Family court is supposed to protect children, to ensure they have stability and care. Instead, it allows delays, manipulations, and drawn-out battles that serve only the adults who abuse the process. The people who should be shielding them from harm are instead fighting over them like possessions, and the legal system allows it.
I am frustrated for Charlie, a man who should be free from the grasp of someone who has done nothing but cause pain. He should not have to endure continued emotional abuse from a person who should no longer have a claim to his life. I watch him suffer through every court date, every interaction, every unreasonable demand, and it breaks my heart. Love means wanting peace for the person you care about most, and I want peace for him. I want him to be able to close this chapter, to move forward, to breathe. But he can’t. Not yet.
I hurt for my own daughter, too. She should never have been caught up in this mess. When her father and I split, it wasn’t easy, but we worked through the hardship, set aside the bitterness, and figured out how to co-parent without toxicity. That journey wasn’t perfect, but we arrived at a place where she now has two parents who support her, who don’t weaponize her, who want what’s best for her above all else. She has peace.
I wanted that same peace for Charlie’s children. I still do.
And then, there is my own heart—the dream I have carried since I was a little girl. I always imagined my wedding, surrounded by family and friends, sharing my joy and my commitment with the people I love most. I always wanted to be a wife, just as much as I wanted to be a mother. But that dream is held hostage by a mistake Charlie made years ago—by a marriage to someone who refuses to let go, who drags this process out with cruelty and calculation.
It’s not fair.
Patience is supposed to be a virtue, but when does it become self-sacrifice? How long do you wait for what should have already been yours? I don’t have the answers. I only know that I love this man, and I love these children, and that love is worth waiting for—even when it feels like the waiting is endless.
Tag: Domestic violence awareness
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Sacred Patience: A Love in Limbo
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Guardian of Light: Watching Him Rise
Readers, I’d like to share with you the story of an incredibly resilient and brave young man.
The first time I met this young man was at one of his baseball games. It was a warm spring evening, and I came prepared with snacks and drinks to support him, his brother, and his dad. He didn’t have to say anything, but he looked me in the eye and thanked me for bringing him a snack, even though we had just met. That moment stuck with me. His politeness and gratitude were genuine—a stark contrast to the behavior I’ve witnessed from his biological mother since that day.
Over the past 10 months, I’ve had the privilege of watching him grow and mature, despite the unimaginable challenges he has faced. He’s a living testament to resilience, navigating life’s upheavals with grace and strength far beyond his years. From the beginning, it was clear to me that he was someone special, someone who deserved all the love and stability that a family could provide.
His story is one marked by instability and a lack of control over some of the most formative decisions in his life. As a young child, he was taken away from his biological father and placed with extended family while his mother focused on her military career. At four years old, his mother introduced him to a new stepfather and made the decision to tell him that this man was his real dad—a story he believed for years. It wasn’t until he was 10, during a CPS case, that the truth finally came out, and he met his biological father for the first time that he could remember.
Despite these upheavals, he carries himself with a remarkable grace. He has his moments—he’s a preteen, after all—but he’s kind, thoughtful, and incredibly self-aware. He’s shown empathy in ways that continue to amaze me, like teaching his younger brother how to take slow, deep breaths when he’s upset. He’s even apologized on his own for behavior he felt crossed a line, without any prompting. He’s not just a “good kid.” He’s an extraordinary young man.
For Christmas this year, I wanted to give him a gift that symbolized everything I see in him: his strength, his worth, and the bright future I know he has ahead. I found a bracelet with an engraved message, a simple but heartfelt token meant to remind him that he is loved and supported unconditionally. It reads:
“Never forget how much I love you. As you grow older, you will face many challenges in life, just do your best. Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s all about learning how to dance in the rain.”
To me, this was more than a gift. It was a promise that, no matter the past or the obstacles ahead, he has people in his corner who love him and believe in him.
Unfortunately, even something as simple as this has become a point of contention. His mother expressed to him that she had “a problem” with the gift. I can’t imagine what part of a message of love and encouragement could be seen as an issue. But what truly breaks my heart is that she told him this. It wasn’t about the bracelet itself; it was about sending a message of negativity to her own child regarding a gesture meant to uplift him.
How do you explain that kind of behavior to a 12-year-old? How do you counteract the damage it might cause without disparaging his mother in the process? These are the questions I wrestle with as I try to support him through it all.
This young man deserves so much more than what life has handed him thus far. He deserves stability, love, and the chance to just be a kid without having to navigate adult-sized conflicts. Watching him grow despite all of this is inspiring, but it also fills me with a deep sense of responsibility. I want to be part of the foundation he can rely on, a constant in his ever-changing world.
After 10 months, I view him as my bonus son. He and his brother are my boys, and I love them just as much as any mother would. While I respect his biological mother’s rights, I will always be here to step up in any way she chooses to step down.All I can really do for him now, is offer unconditional support. I hope that he continues to grow and mature into the impressive, kind, and considerate man that I know he will become. I hope that he remembers his dad and I are always here for him, regardless of anything that may happen. I hope he never forgets that he has a safe space to call his own here.
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Motherhood: A Role You Earn, Not Just a Title You Claim
When reflecting on the challenges my family has faced, it’s hard to ignore the pain caused by one individual who has impacted us in ways I can only describe as deeply unfair and profoundly hurtful. Long before I entered the picture, her actions left scars on the people I love, creating a ripple effect of struggle, heartbreak, and mistrust.
The most painful part is seeing the impact on my partner. He is a kind, resilient, and deeply loving man, but the weight of what he endured has made it difficult for him to open up and trust in goodness again. The harm she caused him wasn’t just physical—it was emotional, psychological, and systemic.
The abuse still echoes in his life, shaping the way he sees the world and how he interacts with it. It’s hard to help someone heal from that level of invalidation and injustice, especially when society so often turns a blind eye to the struggles of men in abusive relationships. Watching him carry the burden of that pain while trying to be the best father, partner, and person he can be is both heartbreaking and inspiring.
But the pain didn’t start there. Before she hurt my partner, she deeply hurt someone else. By ripping a child away and disappearing, she robbed a man of the opportunity to be a father. She gave that role to my partner, only to now try to take that away from him too. It’s a cycle of control and harm, and the impact it’s had on the soft-hearted young man at the center of it, is hard to fathom.
As a human being, it’s devastating to see how these actions have shaped the lives of the family I now call my own. The instability, the confusion, and the emotional weight of these decisions are burdens no one should have to bear. Watching them navigate these challenges with strength and resilience is inspiring, but it’s a constant reminder of the unfairness of it all.
For me, stepping into this dynamic was overwhelming at first. It was hard to reconcile the stories of the past with the present challenges we face. The manipulation, the control, and the disregard for others’ feelings—these are things I’ve witnessed firsthand. And while I’ve done my best to approach these situations with compassion and understanding, there are times when the anger and sadness feel overwhelming.
She has hurt not just the love of my life, but also her own children. The instability she has brought into their lives is something I work tirelessly to counteract. I want them to grow up knowing what stability, love, and consistency feel like. I want them to understand that family is about showing up, even when it’s hard, and about putting others’ needs before your own when it matters most.
It’s not easy to navigate these waters. The emotional toll is heavy, and the path to healing feels long and winding. There are moments when I wonder if I’m enough, if my love and support can truly help undo the damage that’s been done. But then I see glimpses of hope—small moments when my partner opens up just a little more, when the kids smile and laugh freely without worry, or when I feel the strength of the family we are building together.
I don’t know if she’ll ever fully understand or own up to the pain she’s caused. I don’t know if she even sees the harm in her actions. But what I do know is that I will continue to fight for my family. I will continue to be a source of stability, compassion, and love. And I will do everything in my power to show my partner, and the children, that there is still good in the world—still hope for a better tomorrow.
The past may be painful, but it doesn’t have to define the future. Together, we are learning to heal, to trust, and to believe in the power of love again. It’s not an easy road, but it’s one worth traveling. -
Welcome to Where Hope Grows
Welcome to Where Hope Grows! This blog is a safe space for sharing stories of resilience, connection, and growth. Life is full of challenges, but it’s also filled with moments of hope, strength, and inspiration—and that’s what this space is all about.
What This Blog Means to Me:
This blog is more than a collection of stories—it’s a platform for those who cannot speak for themselves. From my recent petition, which has gained over 12,000 signatures in support of stronger animal rights, I’ve learned how many of us care deeply for the vulnerable, whether they’re animals, children, or individuals in need. I believe in advocating for those without a voice. Having experienced domestic violence firsthand, I know what it feels like to be screaming for help, yet feel unheard. That experience fuels my commitment to make an impact—whether it’s through activism, parenting, or sharing my story to connect with others who feel the same.
What You’ll Find Here:
Through this blog, I’ll share personal stories about life, growth, and healing. My journey as a parent and an advocate for change. Dreams and plans for the future, including fostering a community of hope. My wish is for these stories inspire you, just as they’ve helped shape me.
If you’d like to learn more about my recent petition and join the cause, you can find it here: Support Animal Rights: Stop Petopia
An Invitation
Thank you for joining me here. I’d love to hear your thoughts, connect with you, and grow together in this space. Let’s nurture hope, one story at a time.
Where Hope Grows 