Balancing Act: A Journey Through Parenthood, Work, and Life’s Struggles

Lately, life has felt like a never-ending series of challenges and unexpected turns. Both kids have been sick for the past few days, and my heart aches as I watch them struggle. Today, after they both vomited this morning, we snuggled together in bed and watched Curious George. I made sure to keep up with over-the-counter medications and Pedialyte to keep them hydrated, trying to balance it all as best as I could. I do what I can to help them feel better, but it feels like I’m always in survival mode, rushing from one task to the next.

In the midst of it all, custody arrangements shifted unexpectedly this evening, leading to a late exchange of one of the kids. With everything going on, it’s hard to focus on one thing at a time when life throws so much at me.

Work hasn’t been much easier lately. In fact, it’s been incredibly stressful, especially with two unexpected euthanasias happening within a week. One of these was my own patient, a sweet little dog whose intake I was responsible for. I held a beloved patient in my arms as they bled internally, meanwhile my phone buzzed with notifications from home about a chaotic situation unfolding on my porch. I did my best to stay composed, but the emotional toll of balancing work and family left me feeling utterly drained.

At home, I’ve been doing my best to provide support for my partner, Charlie, who has been sick while dealing with an incredible amount of stress. My heart breaks watching someone I love so deeply navigate illness and emotional strain. I wish I could take away his burden, but I can only offer so much. Sometimes it feels like no matter how much comfort I give, it’s never enough.

I worry constantly—for my partner, for the kids, and for their well-being. These worries don’t go away. They hang over me every moment of every day. I spoke with my doctor during a telehealth appointment this week, and I’m grateful for her understanding and support. Her reassurance helps me navigate all the overwhelming feelings that arise.

Today, while picking up my prescription from CVS in Target, I grabbed baby bath salts and bath bombs, hoping they would help with congestion. Of course, I didn’t get to use them. Plans changed at the last minute, and the carefully thought-out arrangements suddenly shifted. I still feel anxious and uncertain about the follow-through, and the constant unpredictability makes it hard to feel grounded.

As I sit here now, wide awake in the quiet of the night, I’m reminded of how much I want a happy life. I deserve a happy life, and so does my family. But I can’t help but feel lost at times. The weight of it all feels so heavy, and I often wonder if I’m doing enough to balance everything. I’m determined to see this through, but I’m also exhausted.

I keep pushing, and I know that no matter how tired I get, I’ll keep fighting for a better life for my family. But sometimes, the emotional toll is overwhelming, and I need to remind myself to pause. To breathe. To remember that it’s okay to feel lost sometimes, as long as I don’t let it define me.

The love I have for Hope, for the kids, for Charlie, and for the life I’m building is what drives me. Even in the hardest times, it’s what keeps me going. The future may be uncertain, but I hold onto the hope that one day, we’ll find the peace we all deserve.